On days I feel terribly alone and unwanted, I think of her: my best friend.
She knows who she is and I’ll be forever grateful for her, even if we don’t exactly talk everyday like the typical bffs do.
What spurned this post is because I was feeling exceptionally lonely today. I think I was just being overly dramatic, but regardless.
I suddenly thought back to the day I walked into my 9th Grade social studies class, terrified and absolutely dreading my first day at this school already. Kids were cussing at teachers and swearing at each other. I wasn’t used to this type of environment and I stuck out like a sore thumb. My meekness sprawled across every inch of my face, my movements.
My social studies teacher, warm and welcoming, told me I could sit in the front next to her, my future soul sister. She didn’t really seem like the friendly type. Her face was unyieldingly expressionless and even oblivious to the chaos in the classroom. I sat down thinking about how awkward the rest of the school year would be.
Next thing I know, she turns to me and asks, “Do you wanna sit with me on the bus for the field trip tomorrow?”
I didn’t even know her name, but not passing up the opportunity to make a friend, I said “Sure” in my most charmingly awkward tone.
Then the rest was history. What followed was a field trip where she and I bonded in the most unconventional way: hating each other. Actually no, she hated me and I absolutely adored her. She said befriending me was the worst mistake of her life because she thought I was going to be the quiet one. HAH. Good one girl.
We were pretty much inseparable. Going to the libraries to read manga, ordering food from the local bakery, trying our best to become professional tennis players. Pretty much everything I had expected the best kind of friendship to be.
I remember this particular memory with fondness: we both had wanted to get out of going to Math class. I think it was because of a math test we felt unprepared for. So in the class prior to that, we were trying to think of some medical excuse to get out of it. We decided that our cause of absence would be because we had broken our wrists. We actually didn’t end up breaking each other’s wrists, but we did our best to look like we did.
I took a textbook and slammed it over her hand repeatedly so it looked like she had fallen and hurt it. She did the same to me. The look of horror on our social studies teacher’s face was priceless and I distinctly recall him saying, “Stop that, you two! What the hell are you two doing?!” We reassured him that we both gave each other permission to do this and that it’ll be fine, we just really didn’t want to go to class. He just shook his head and walked away.
We failed to get out of Math class, of course, but it was still one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done and I’d probably do it over again with her.
She’s basically the sister I never had and I miss her everyday. It was devastating to leave the one friend who I felt like was my soul sister. We’ve been friends from almost 7 years and I find it crazy that we go on without talking for months, but the moment we have time to talk, all the time just melts away and becomes irrelevant.
It’s just a nice feeling knowing that if everyone just flat out left me, she’d still be there. Plus, she’s kind of stuck with me for life because I’m the clingy one. No way am I gonna let a friend like her go. Sorry, not sorry.